Monday, January 7, 2013

Don't Call it a Comeback (even though it is one)

Well, embarrassingly, we probably should call it a comeback when you're missing for almost four months and then reappear.  The truth is, despite everything being amazing and nobody appreciating it, technology is just not good enough for me yet.  In all this time since my last post, I kept thinking of titles, and things I wanted to say, and taking pictures, and starting drafts...and never finishing any of them because I'm rarely in the same place long enough to finish doing even one thing.  Curse of the multitasking interpreter/mom/crafter/runner/blogger/health food fanatic/friend/reader/homeowner living in a car-intense city without a desk job.  I do think about updating at stoplights, but that would just be unsafe.  I opt for much shorter text messages instead.  What can I say, safety is my top priority. 
(ooh, I wonder if I could text my updates!...must explore..)

So, I'm not going to drive myself crazy trying to encapsulate everything I've wanted to say and haven't in one long-ass mega braindump download, but a lot has happened.  And not happened.  Here, in random order of appearance in my brain at this moment is a non-exhaustive list of things that were important to me between September and now:

1. The NYC Marathon got cancelled.

Maybe this is why...
That sucked but also rocked, bc I was staring down the barrel of a 6+ hr time.  When we heard definitively it was cancelled, my first emotion was overwhelming relief.  My second was relief too, followed by probably (third) disbelief, (fourth) jubilation, and (fifth) mild hysteria.  Perhaps one day I will get around to recapping it for you.  If not, just know that it was still a great great trip, since I was in NYC already by the time it cancelled and BY GOD would not waste a trip to my favorite place! We made alternative plans and it was still awesome, maybe even more so for not being incredibly sore and dehydrated the whole time.

2.  I did not get any faster.  As you can tell from my previous point.  I know I made gains, and increased my endurance (which is always a more ephemeral-feeling part of fitness, for me), but I watched pretty much everyone else in my training group nab shiny new pr's without getting anywhere myself.  That was annoying.  (Tho note, group, I am genuinely happy for YOU!  Swearz!)  Still not sure why that is, unless I just burnt myself out training through that long, hot summer...which incidentally stretched into DECEMBER NOT THAT I'M BITTER

and I guess I'm just that person.  Oh well.  But it's changed my goals for my running and fitness in general, and I decided that after goofy I'm changing it up, to a more weight-bearing, crossfit kind of focus that hopefully will play to my strengths.  If that doesn't make me faster..well, then, I'll happily go back to my favored style of stunt-pulling, kamikaze-randomness that has characterized my running so far.  At least I'll have had a break.

3.  Goofy.  That's still happening.  I am terrified, probably more so now than ever because I don't have that *first* marathon under my belt like I thought I would.  Challenge: ...limply aquiesced to.  I apparently was finally able to communicate the depth of my dread to James, because her awesome birthday gift to me included two running-belt sized bottles of vodka, which I attest I fully intend to bring with me on the disney course.  In case of emergency, break plastic.


How cute is it that it all matches the bag, too :)  Anyone else fuel up with vodka and gu?  Champions, I tell you!
This can go in my carryon too, right?  If I say I'm diabetic?

4.  Oh yeah, I had a birthday.  A 35th birthday, which I was not at all welcoming toward.  It nevertheless treated me quite well tho, so I have to give it props for that.  35, maybe you will not be the harbinger of doom and waning life I was assuming.  That would be nice.

One of my friends graciously characterized it as "only 5 more years till you will officially stop giving a shit!"  and I verily hope that's true, because it sounds divine.  At this point I still have lots of expectations, designs, unreached goals- lots of "surely by the time I'm 35 I'll .. .. and ..".  I usually don't even know what those things are until I arrive and HAVEN'T accomplished them, which isn't such a fun feeling.  I hope she's right and I soon start learning how to let that all go, appreciate what I have accomplished, and stay excited about whatever I'm currently working on.  And then hopefully I'll turn into a unicorn too, but maybe that's 50 and not 40...

If I wasn't so impatient with taking pictures, I might get everyone in them!  Jen's back there somewhere..

5.  I've been running. Some.  I ran the Hot Chocolate race here in phx (faboo!), the TostitoBurrito SkippyJohnWhatever it was half marathon, the Virtual 12-12-12 (on december 12, who'da thunkit), did a lot of long training runs and played my first rugby game.  Yay for all of it.  Of course, with Goofy ONE WEEK AWAY I'm wishing it was all so much more intense, consistent, plentiful...but it is what it is.  Maybe one day the holidays won't eat me alive and completely derail my fitness plans, but that day has not come yet.  I have to be happy I got some runs in and keep moving on...

Best. Post.Race. Goodies. Ever.  That fondue bowl had rice crispy treats, marshmallows, pretzels, banana and I don't even know what else in it. YUM.  Maybe I can bring my own in a thermos to every race from now on bc..damn.

Virtual 12.12.12 race.  Print-your-own bibs is awesome.  So is being able to spontaneously cut the race from 12mi to 12k when you get tired and fed up.  And still get your medal!

Tostito Whateverthehell half.  Was cool to have a half entirely in Scottsdale, but they ran out of medals and the guy was a DICK dealing with all the disappointed slow finishers...this race deserves a recap.

6.  I sliced my thumb. Never cut myself quite this bad before. Not really noteworthy but it freaked me the fuck out and I took pictures so you get to hear about it.  It's almost healed tho so temper your vicarious outrage as you look:

Much more noteworthy: the meal behind it, which was the cause of so much suffering.  Still one of my all-time favorites- yam hash and eggs over medium.  mmmmmmmmmm

7. Paintball.  My cutest little kid is incongruously obsessed with guns and destroying things, which I hate but also can't seem to subvert.  So I thought I'd try to channel his interest in some kind of contained direction, and I bought him a day of paintball for Christmas.  We went out for it yesterday and though I really don't feel a compelling urge to shoot people I'd have to's pretty fun.

First shot got me right in the neck.  NOT. COOL.  But it made me look kind of badass so I don't mind.

I don't want to think he looks cute like that but he does.

If you get shot at semi-close range or especially if your skin isn't covered, *you will get hurt*.  But this sting goes away after a few minutes and then it's just fun with bruises.  I kind of thought that was cool bc it definitely raised the stakes...I played laser tag before and just really didn't get it, but with this I had real incentive to hide or defend bc I didn't want to get hurt again!  They change up with different games about every 20 minutes so you have time to reload and recoup and it was definitely something I'd go back to. 

Don't be a fucking baby.  Getting shot makes you feel ALIVE

So there you have it, the randomest update possible.  I had Janathon half in mind, but after a (oh yeah! 8.) new year's eve that included this:

I think it's a doll Last Supper.  Just, NO.
I was really not in the mood.  Maybe I will be for Februathon.  or wait- MARCHATHON.  In which I will march proudly through the park every day playing John Philip Sousa on a giant boombox!  Right?  Good idea, no?  Let me get on some logistics and get back to you...


  1. Ditto, Ari! It's about damn time, Tara. How are we supposed to out do each other's snark if you're never blogging, hmmmm? At the very least, download the oh-so-crappy Blogger app and upload little blogging vignettes. Snark on the go! I bet you could do that at a stop light. Or while driving, I'm sure that's quite safe. That's why it's an app, right? har!

    1. Ermahgerd, I just realized I don't know where my mini vodkas are!!! I know I did not drink them. Arg, where the heck are they? I better get some more before Thursday.

  2. Good luck at your Goofy, Tara & Jaime! Though I don't drink it, I really liked your photo of technical food & vodka! I am a phoenix as well, for many different reasons :)

  3. Hello from Trinidad! (New reader alert) I've always wanted to try paintball but that bruise looks fierce!

    xoxo from Trinidad

  4. You're so badass for paintballing. I'm such a chicken.