Woof. Not even sure where exactly to begin.
I suppose the beginning is this:
About five years ago, a friend convinced me that her obsession with brand-name cosmetics was a real thing, and that you definitely get what you pay for in the world of colored animal fat being applied to your face. I tagged along with her to the mall on an expensive-makeup-buying excursion, and wound up with my very own pot of $25 eyeliner, which needs to be applied with a half-drop of water and a special eyeliner brush.
|Yes, I'm talking about you.|
Fast forward to last halloween. I was in walgreens buying whatever crap i was buying for some costume party, and walked by the supa-cheap wet-n-wild (or whatever, is it even called that anymore?) display. I noticed all the metallic and glitter eyeliners and for just a second, instead of feeling superior, I wanted them. Glitter gets me every time, and it had been a long long time since I bought anything other than wildly expensive black eyeliner. Plus, what's $1.50 among friends? I bought three.
|Yes, I cheated. But it wasn't love, it was just lust! You can forgive me, can't you?|
|Take that, fancy companies and popular assumptions about consumerism! I'm FREEEEEE!|
|Ring, you are coming with me, to gain your extra level of significance. No longer just 26.2, you will be 26.2 *in a single day*. Scaaaary! But also, wooot!|
|Let me know if your life has a lamentable lack of gun- or snake-themed merchandise. I can easily fill your void.|
I'm starting to understand why people see Arizonans the way they do. Judging by all the airport gift shops, our three main traits are apparently dust and guns and snakes ((and a fanatical devotion to the pope--*four* main traits...)). Wonderful. Sign me right on up there, pard'ner.
Anyway. I slept for the most part on the way to Chicago, trying to bank some zz's for our giant ordeal. Once at Midway we had ceremonial hot dogs (Chicago style, obvi) (sans the bun, obvi again), complained about the lack of wifi, ignored each other to facebook random details to people thousands of miles away, and posed for pictures:
|What I love is how happy he looks, for once. Why now, after all these years, Oscar? WHY NOW?!|
|Uncomfortable with shoving children? *I have a song for that!!*...|
Omg wait! James DID capture her soul on film! What a fucking champ!! There next to me, is the side of a stranger's face. Yay!
|Actually, not all that relevant now. But whatever.|
So, since we had virtually nothing to mess with when we landed, we hopped on our "Magical Express" (it has mickey on the side and they play a video, apparently that = magical), checked into our hotel, walked a mile and a half to our room to empty our backpacks (for the upcoming schwag fiesta), walked a mile and a half back to the bus, and rode over to the race expo with just over an hour and a half to go.
|Expo! Excitement! Raison d'etre!|
|The world-reknowned Teh Folder, in its current Goofy incarnation! *polite golf clap|
This wall was the first thing we encountered at the shopping part of the expo; I almost walked by it but Jamie noticed it was covered with names.
|And there I am!! Why is it always so fun to see your own name in print??|
|...I don't know, but it pretty much rules. I am happy.|
They wanted you to buy the doll for $20, then pay another $2 for whatever medal you wanted to put on it. Uh, NOTHX...
...Altho, 'take that' only to the point I still spent an ungodly amount of money on registration, trip, and I won't bother mentioning how much I spent on the sweatshirt I picked out... But I've worn it like every day since then, so that's justifiable, right! <-- ((not a question mark.))
|Some of the best things in (expo) life ARE free, and stupid fun.|
|It is important for you to see what we ate.|
|James's informed choice. She won.|
We had a fish salad and some shepherd's pie (which were both AMAZEBALLS, btw), and stowed a couple of glasses of wine somewhere about our persons. I will not say we got a little buzzed two days before the biggest race of our lives, bc that would be stupid.
So, I'm definitely not saying that.
But, wherever I stashed that wine made this sign on the bathroom really amusing:
|Doot dooooo doo doo do...anyone?|
|This is the sign in front of our hotel, clicked at 30 mph. I like its "artistic" quality :)|