Can't believe Janathon is 2/3 over, and I'm still making it. Chalk up another version of me doing things I never saw myself doing, courtesy of running. Exercise every damn day? Two years ago that wasn't even in the realm of things on the table to possibly be considered at some point doable.
So, I decided tonight that I'm just going to tell people at restaurants that I'm celiac. I've been trying to go it on my own, all reasonable-like, being honest that 'no, it's not an allergy', 'no, I haven't been diagnosed with anything', 'I just try to avoid it bc it doesn't agree with me'...F that. Two weeks ago we went to PF Chang's, where it turns out they have a new gf menu, and I asked why their sauteed spinach was on there- just to point out that it was gf? Cuz I kinda deduced that on my own- it's just spinach sauteed with garlic! NoooOOOOooo, the server enlightened me, there's a different sauce they use. In the spinach. Side dish. Which is just spinach. Okie dokie! Then I read that chinese food in general is often a big fat mistake for gluten-freers (can there be a better name pls?), bc there's often flour used to thicken the oyster sauce, the brown sauce, the mystery delicious spicy sweet hoisin mongolian tabernathy whathaveyou- so tonight when we went to check out a new place in Scottsdale (decor: cool. crowd: nonexistent! tea: mixed bag. ha! get it??) I asked about the sauce and told the server I was gf. Being the helpful sort, she went and consulted with the chef... and came back with the revelation that not only most of their sauces, all of their soup, AND ALL OF THE BEEF had gluten in it. Uh, good to know-? And thanks for scaring the crap out of me-? 'How, pray tell, can all of the Beef have gluten in it, before you even cook the crap?' 'Because,' she rejoined, 'it's in the marinade.' Wow. Got me on that one. Marinade.
So now, I'm just tired of guessing. I give: society, your love affair with gluten is no match for my limited wiles. So I'll just put on my heavy celiac hair shirt and wear it around! I really haven't wanted to, because I don't want to start every meal out with a harangue about Some Disease I Supposedly Have, and turn every ordering event into a circus of special pots of condiments that I and only I should allow past my lips, but seriously- the marinade. I don't have time to guess all these things! I think I'll have a shirt made, to take the word back and make it my own...HA, maybe I can even find a hair-y font to carry out my pun!..